I have three computers in my office. One I use strictly for writing fiction and which has never been hooked up to the internet. A second is used mostly for games and houses my huge “morgue” of pictures, photos and the tidbits of info I’m saving for future projects. The third I use for my blogs and Ebay. In addition to three computers I also have three monitors, three keyboards and three mouses, (mice?) My desk is a crowded mess! Maybe instead of a bigger desk, I need a KVM switch!

Sometimes I find strange things in our back yard. What makes the items appearances so strange is that our back yard has tall stockade fencing and locked gates so that no one goes in or out. Any visitors that we receive enter by the front door to avoid being trampled and licked to death by our pack of dogs.

A while back I found a rosary lying on the sidewalk. We live right beside a Catholic church, so while it was a long-shot, I looked around to see if some unfortunate church-goer had somehow climbed the fence and was attacked and eaten by the pack. Finding no evidence or remnants of a body I had to conclude that the rosary fell out of the sky. Several unfamiliar articles of clothing have also turned up…a man’s hat, a leather boot, several golf balls, though the nearest gold course is miles away, and a shredded wind sock of the type one sees at airports. It’s a mystery. Perhaps our yard conceals an invisible vortex, a portal to another dimension?

Does your dog crave a bit of bling? Apparently fine choke chains are all the rage on the dog show circuits and what could be more tasteful and classic than a little gold chain? These gorgeous gold-plated serpentine canine choke chains range from ten inches all the way up to thirty inches. For the correct size you’ll need to measure your dog’s neck and add two to three inches.

It’s always a balancing act when you have more than one dog. Especially when they are all the same sex, as ours are. Beans fancies herself the Alpha female…she’s the biggest and the strongest. But not necessarily the smartest. Weenie, (who I believe may actually be a doggie genus) allows Beans to believe she’s the boss, all the while, using her Weenie-wiles to get her way. If Beans gets into her bed, Weenie will nonchalantly slip outside and begin to bark frantically. Beans, in fact, all of the dogs, will dash outside to see whats up. Weenie then casually strolls back inside and reclaims her bed. I’ve seen her do it dozens of times and it never fails, the other dogs fall for it every single time.

Since the other dogs are content to allow Beans her delusions of grandeur, things are mostly peaceful. But I worry sometimes that Wishbone is secretly harboring a succession plan. She’s a sneaky little girl..

As I mentioned previously I’ve been bringing Weenie to the nursing home with me to work as a pet therapy pup. Normally during meals she silently cruises beneath the tables like a shark, hoping for the odd piece of dropped egg or lost sausage link. But yesterday morning one of the residents spilled an entire glass of milk on the floor. In the time it took to grab a towel and get across the room, Weenie had lapped up the milk, which had the approximate effect of a colon cleanser on her. She’s still pooping up a storm! And when she’s not pooping, she emitting these horrible, silent but deadly clouds of noxious Weenie-dog flatus, made all the worse, I imagine, by the time spent percolating through her extra-long body. Can a dog be lactose intolerant?

Apparently our entire city is sick. I heard today that our hospital is so overwhelmed that they have beds in the hallways…I hope I don’t have to go there, I hate crowds.

My lungs are killing me, every time I cough it’s like a knife going through me…or at least how I imagine a knife would feel. Maybe a knife wouldn’t hurt this bad…I keep catching my dogs staring at me, every time I look up they’re giving me these weird nervous, worried looks. I wonder if they would eat me if I died?

It is now day nine of this stinking flu and I seem to be getting worse instead of better. I’m getting nothing done. It’s all I can do to make it until bedtime and every day it gets harder to crawl out of bed.

And now a departure from my regularly scheduled whine-fest; Have you ever heard of Cisco? Are you interested in refurbished or used cisco systems? If so check it out, there’s some great info…

Now back to our regular broadcast…

Sorry, about the lapse in posts. I’ve had a horrible flu since Tuesday and have pretty much been flat on my back. I think I may even lost a few pounds and possibly, due to high fever, a few brain cells.

Beans has also lost a couple more pounds and though she’s still by no means svelte, we’re starting to see the beginnings of a waistline. Unfortunately, since she’s been getting less food, we can’t seem to keep her in rawhide chews, she goes through them like a buzz saw and then she starts chewing on inedible and potentially dangerous found objects like the entry-way coat tree, a package of bic pens and the base of my Swifter mop. I know exactly how she feels, when you’re dieting, a plastic mop head can start to look pretty tempting…

I apologize for not posting regularly. I’ve been filling in for the activity director at my husband’s nursing home. The job is only temporary and I only have a few more weeks before the regular gal will be back, but the extra money has been great!

I have one paycheck set aside for Brownie and Twinkie’s annual dental cleaning, and I’m hoping we can use some of the monies on a few house projects, like new flooring and fixtures for the disgusting upstairs bathroom! In fact, today we ran to Effingham and bought some tongue and groove bead board and looked at floor tile and bathroom vanities. Everything is so expensive!

Of course, once our van realizes I’ve been working every day, it will break down and require a new engine or transmission…